Boiled, poached or Scrambled, Tuesday 7 April 2020, Day 20

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

I like mine hard boiled and decorated, Ha I bet you weren’t expecting that ya dirty wee besoms 😉

The entries are open for the works Annual Easter Egg Competition. To enter, you just need to hard boil an egg, decorate it anyway you want, put it on display and hope that staff will vote for your egg. Every time someone votes they pay a £1 which goes to the work charity. This year the competition will be carried out on-line.

In 2018 with a lot of help from my pal Yvonne (she is an arts and craft person and loves this kind of stuff) I submitted an egg entry. You can see my egg in the pic below it’s the guy on the hospital trolley who’s had too much bevvy at the football, tripped over the kerb and cracked his head on the pavement. The sign says “eggxamination in progress” I couldn’t believe it when I won, I was pure eggstatic, I celebrated with a few pisco sours, even I canny stomach eggnog!

I kept my egg man on my desk, (let’s call him Tam) he was a great talking point if people came to speak to me, and of course I got the chance to show off that I had won. In 2019 I decided to summit him again, I drew a beard on him, added a few stains to his clothes and updated the signage. Now before you use your hours’ worth of exercise to don a mask, drag me out the house and burn me at the stake the updated sign was created 2019 and pre COVID it said “These NHS waiting times are getting longer, I feel as if I have been here for a year, if I don’t get seen soon I am gonna crack”

So off I went chuckling away with my entry and put it on display, I got a couple of skype messages from the tree huggers in work saying how pleased they were I had recycled my entry and helped reduced food waste, to be honest I was just being a lazy bass and Yvonne had now moved to Spain so I didn’t have any help. I also got a few skypes from people saying that they thought it was great and very funny.

Well let me tell you I was not happy when the next day I got a message from the Head Judge saying my entry was disqualified, disqualified, DISFOOKINGQUALIFIED !!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly eggsploded with rage, apparently other egg entrants had made formal complaints, (yes that’s what I said, formal complaints, yes really,) that my Tam had an unfair advantage as he won last year. Come on tae France man, Face Palm, WTF, get a life, compose oneself.

Then they had the pure cheek to ask if they could keep Tam on display but not attract any votes. Aye right! fook that, in a childish strop (yes, I needed to compose oneself) I pulled my Tam off the display, put a few quid in the charity box and never voted for anyone!

Tam still lives on my desk and it was my intention to re-submit him this year, but I won’t share the theme as it’s a bit too close to home right now, maybe next year. However, had I thought to take him home, I would re-enter, and this year’s signage would simply say “ NHS, you are my Hero”

PS – My team are allowing me to keep Tam until he starts to smell, oooft just had a though what if he has eggsploded while we are working at home, can you imagine the reek when we go back……

Los huevos son muy versatiles.