Fire, Fire, Fire Tuesday 31 March 2020, Day 13

Aint got no trouble in my life, no foolish dream to make me cry, I’m never frightened or worried, I know I will always get by. If only that was the truth!

Went to make a coffee this morning and noticed that I had left the switch on the plug down, I never do that, I am a compulsive switcher offer. Never charge my phone overnight, always ensure the gas on the cooker is off. One of the hardest things for me is having to accept that the fridge stays on.

Anyways it got me thinking, what if the flat went on fire, I don’t have an evacuation plan in place. I could die in this flat, the front door is far away from the living room, in fact if I have people up, I tell them to just come in as I canny hear the door.

I started to have minor palpitations, so I lit up a cigarette to help calm me down but then noticed I was wearing my highly flammable two quid nighty from Primark. FFS! I pulled the nighty over my head and tossed it in the bin, I so wish I had taken the cigarette out my mouth, but I now have less of a moustache.

Evacuation Plan and Checklist

Check Smoke Alarm is working and functional.

Just realised I don’t have one BUY ONE

Check all windows can open/not locked from inside.

All good

Check to ensure I can fit through all windows.

All apart from Bathroom (I should have known to not even attempt it, I looked like a bloody fool)

Purchase a fire extinguisher

I have one in the boot of my car I can use

Time how long it takes me to get from living room to front door

Walking – 34 secs

Running – 33 secs

On belly – 1 min, 58 secs

Put a torch in the living room drawer

Done

It’s all right having a plan, but I need to test it, I will speak to my neighbour (from a distance)

tomorrow and ask her to randomly call me and I will use this as the fire alarm. So, if you can’t get hold of me tomorrow it’s because I am outside waiting for the Fire Service to let me back into the flat.

In our chief executives update today she wanted to start a conversation on how we are all getting on working from home. This was the first comment

“Having joined from working in a global company where virtual working was the norm. I feel like I have slipped back into virtual working comfortably.” Aye all right Jack some of us have done more time in here than we would have for murder so are struggling a tad to adjust. So take your global company and stick it up yer ******* ****! I know, I know I shouldn't be nasty about my colleagues but my eye pure twitched when I read it.

Fun Fact - Baby sea otters can't swim.

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