The aff it’s heid show Monday 20 April 2020, Day 33

What you going to do after they have all gone home. How are you going to play all on your own, its not much fun being all alone.

Good Morning and welcome to the Aff it’s heid show, brought to you live from Tollcross, Glasgow.

To give a round up of the weekend events here is your resident host Malky Malcolm, (the audience in my head goes mental clapping and cheering) you know that’s a shit name Malky Malcolm, it doesn’t exactly have the same ring as Jennifer Jones, KZAZ, reporting from New York City. I might have a think about changing it.

It just seemed like two days ago I was logging off for the weekend and here I am, as quick as cooking a cheap cut of meat in a slow cooker logging back in.

I didn’t do much last weekend, so I set myself a target of doing something fun this weekend. On Saturday I bought a game of click and catch, from the kid’s party section in Tesco it’s a brilliant section I am going to treat myself to a new toy each week. It’s the game where you have a plastic cone and shoot a ball out of it then you have to catch it back in the cone.

Those bloody balls and cones have got a lot smaller over the years, I could hardly see the blinking ball when it shot out never mind trying to catch it in a tiny cone.

In three hours, I managed to catch the ball once, scoop it out the toilet pan four times, climb onto the chester drawers to get it from the top of the wardrobe six times, fall off the chester drawers three times, oh and I nearly chocked myself to death when I almost swallowed it while eating my soup, I knew there was a ball missing! The living room wallpaper now has a nice tomato soup rainbow on it.

I was listening to a radio show on Sunday, the presenter was giving ideas on how to stay occupied and suggested a game of hide and seek, magic idea, I don’ know why I hadn’t thought about it before. With no peeking at all I covered my eyes counted to 30 then ran and hid in the cupboard under the stairs, I got down on my hunkers and stayed like that for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours, eventually I realised my hiding place was just too good and called the games a bogey.