Belters Bar Part Deux, Friday 17 July 2020, Day 121

Let me photograph you in this light, in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were before we realized, we were sad of getting old it made us restless. I’m so mad at getting old it makes me reckless!

Friday, 12.35am, what a great day, pre-paid taxi booked, mask on, goodbye hugs and kisses, arrive home slide key in door, jammies on, bed, wake up as fresh as a daisy. Wait a minute, this isn’t a Disney story!

From the moment we all arrived it was a pure fucking rabble everyone talking at the same time, shouting over each other, five different conversations on the go, heads bobbing like budgies eating trill. At one point I laughed so hard I turned purple and one of the girls was asking others if they had an inhaler to hand, none of us did of course.

As the beers, gin, wine, prosecco, ciders, shots and pussay juices (don’t get ideas, pre-mix cocktails) were drank, there was a taxi trip to Tesco for more, we should have drawn a line then but we never, The taxi driver was given a bottle of Irn Bru for his patience and waiting outside the shop.

The karaoke came out we danced, we sang, we booked a camping trip for next month (WTF), we annoyed the fuck out the dog and we imparted our wisdom on our friends 17-year-old daughter.

OMG that poor, poor lassie was told to look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves, study hard and you’ll achieve your goals, don’t let anyone bring you down, the sun shines on the righteous and NEVER, EVER, EVER fling yerself under a bus for any cunt! Shortly after she disappeared inside!

By eleven is was getting cool so we headed inside to sing along to Queen at live aid, “all we hear is Radio Ga Ga”, I nearly knocked myself out with my bingo wings, between that and my blue stained teeth I knew it was time for home.

12.35am, “Aimee, Aimee, what’s this address?”, “15 Rose Avenue”, “Are you sure? This taxi isn’t picking up the address”, “I know where I live, are your location services on?” “Dunno, can you check, pleeeeeeeease, (big blue teeth smile me thinking I look endearing, rather than a middle age lush) “Ok Malky, that’s it sorted the taxi will be here soon” “ Thanks Aimee you are a lovely girl, lassies, lassies ain’t she a lovely, lovely girl”

1.15am, “oh I’ve got missed calls, wonder who’s calling me this late, oh fuck it’s the taxi, quick cuddles and declarations of love, mask on, bomb out the door jump in taxi. Manage to get home incident free, but it does take me eight attempts to get the key in the door, jammies seemed too complicated so slept in my top and knickers.

Woke up at 9.20 with my phone going like the clappers!

[01:46, 17/07/2020] – Belter 1: Home sick 🤢 pissed grrratb Night before

[09:20, 17/07/2020] - Belter 1: So can you fill in the blanks for me? From when we left the garden 🤣

[09:21, 17/07/2020] Belter 1: I kept swolloeing cos I was gonna be sick in that taxi and you were pure shouting at the guy saying how long have we been in this taxi! Then I told him to pull over lol

[09:22, 17/07/2020] - Belter 1: I was dooo sick outside the taco door then I felt so much better

[09:22, 17/07/2020] Belter 2: what the fuck was going on with that taxi, I remember shouting at him as I had no idea where we were

[09:23, 17/07/2020] - Belter1: Did we just come inside and I fell asleep

[09:25, 17/07/2020] Belter3 : Naw we came indoors and we were doing the Ga Ga

[09:26, 17/07/2020] Belter 3: You feel asleep no long after we started watching it, you were snoring like fick!

[09:26, 17/07/2020] Belter 4: whats the Ga ga, and who was that wummin that came in??

[09:26, 17/07/2020] Belter 2 I mind a wummin, My heid is bursting man......

[09:26, 17/07/2020] Belter 5: I'm still pissed

[09:26, 17/07/2020] Belter 1: Oh god aye now I mind a wummin

[09:27, 17/07/2020] Belter 1: I woke up n thot fuck my wee mic hope it’s no been left oot in the garden.. I’m I’ll man 😆

[09:27, 17/07/2020]Belter 4: .....last I remember was sitting watching queen on the telly and a can of magners hahaha I pure hate cider as well

[09:30, 17/07/2020] Belter 3 : Omg! Carnage 😂

[09:30, 17/07/2020] Belter 4 – I’ve lost my cagoule

[09:33, 17/07/2020] Belter 2: we didn't even have face masks on it that taxi

[09:36, 17/07/2020] Belter 5 : It was,a great wee day though

[09:38, 17/07/2020] Belter 3: Crackin day x

[09:40, 17/07/2020] Belter 4: Brilliant day thanks so much doll for having us over

[09:41, 17/07/2020] Belter 4: Just looked at my calls list....wtf !!!!!

[09:42, 17/07/2020] Belter 3: FFS, does anyone know who the duck that wummin was!!!!!

Love these lassies, they are the belters, different from the rest, roll on the camping trip!